The Natural Birth of My 5th and LAST Child, Eve Aria

I conceived Eve in the beginning of May in 2011. The beginning of the pregnancy was difficult as I was very sick...very VERY sick. The sickness didn't subside until well into the third trimester which was nothing like my other pregnancies, but this was my first, last, and only girl...so I could deal if I had to. 


By about 34 weeks pregnant I started contracting regularly one night and that scared the crap out of hubby and I so we started to pay more attention to what my body was doing. Luckily, it subsided after a few hours and we both were able to breathe a sigh of relief. But we thought that maybe this was a sign from baby that she was planning to come sooner than later and we should probably get the house together since we were planning another homebirth and there was A LOT of cleaning and arranging to do (we were literally cleaning walls and grout with tooth brushes...SERIOUS nesting). Our weekends from then on became devoted to cleaning and setting up for the birth. 


By 36 weeks, our midwife did a home visit and noticed I was totally soft, cervix forward and baby engaged. I was effaced too, but only 50% and when she checked me I immediately started to dilate. Hubby, I, and the midwife were sure I was going to have this baby VERY soon. In fact that very night, I contracted for 3 hours and then it stopped but we were set up for the birth by then just in case...tub filled and everything. By 37 weeks pregnant, I had cried labor more times than I could count and baby never did show, but I did dilate to a 2-3 and stayed there. 


By 37 weeks and change, I was a good 3cm and my cervix was doing funny things like staying forward for contractions and then after a few hours it would crawl back up and the contractions would get worse but my cervix was literally closing up. The midwife was baffled, so were we. I mean common, what the hell is that? She called it a “dynamic cervix” and I knew this was not going to be a good thing for me, but I wasn't allowing it to register just yet. John and I were up all night with this damn cervix, walking up and down the streets during the full moon with the weirdos out in our neighborhood staring at us like we needed to be fitted for straight jackets. People don’t walk around the neighborhood at 3 am in their pajamas, flip flops and breathing loudly anymore? Needless to say, that 8 hour labor produced nothing more than a sleep deprived daddy, midwife, and doula and a VERY irritated mommy as it was very painful and there is nothing I dislike more than pain with no purpose. 


By 38 weeks, John had been stripping my membranes about every other day and I had managed to make it to 5 cm but still 50% effaced and contractions left and right but no baby...this was getting ridiculous! We decided since it was John's birthday, we'd put that baby stuff aside for the day and just have a great day and weekend since we didn't think she was coming for a while. We took the family to the birthing stones on the North Shore of Oahu which is a place we go to a few times during each pregnancy we've had in Hawaii and when the babies are born as kind of a thank you to the land and the goddesses for our very precious gifts. We did John's 2nd degree reiki, seichim, Tera Mai, and R3 initiations there that day and that was EXTREMELY powerful! By the time we were walking out of the sacred grounds area, I was contracting regularly again, but I figured it was from all the energy we had just raised and didn't think anything of it. I went to bed that night mildly complaining of pain but it was nothing I couldn't sleep through so I did. 


By 4-5 the next morning (Sunday, January 15th), I woke up thinking I needed to use the bathroom. I was VERY uncomfortable but nothing really out of the norm of what I had already been going through. So I hmmmd and hawwwd about what to do and decided a bath would help me go back to sleep. I got in the hot water and it helped for about 30 minutes and then I noticed the pain came back with more of a rhythm and it was a lot worse than it had been (especially for being in the tub). My son Josh came in and asked what I was doing and I noticed that the sun was beginning to come up outside so I told him to go get daddy.

Daddy came in all bleary eyed and yawning and I thought I should have probably let him sleep longer, but hell...I'm in pain, he can be awake. :D He watched me go through a few contractions and decided to start the birth tub water (for the 4th or 5th time now) and finish cleaning up downstairs (since we swore of cleaning for his birthday the day before). I got out of the tub and went downstairs and ate a small breakfast and the contractions got worse, so John checked me and was having a hard time feeling a cervix, we were both thinking maybe I am REALLY dilated and he just can't tell. So he called the midwife and she heard me moaning through contractions and decided to come over. I am not sure what was going on with the other kids at this point, John was doing a very good job at keeping them busy elsewhere :D. 


By the time the midwife got there, I was SURE this HAD to be it as I was moaning loudly in the birth tub. I insisted the midwife check me and she did...damn. No change. In fact the cervix had crawled so far back up into the vagina that she could barely reach it. I was hysterical. This just couldn't be...I was in soooooo much pain and highly irritable. I asked my midwife what could we do as I can't live like this anymore, so she reached in as far as she could and literally pulled my cervix forward and stretched it to a 6 (ouch), I was still 50% effaced, but I would be 50% for the duration of the labor and birth. Oh yes, you heard right. 


The doula got there shortly after that and my pain scale had gone up so much by that point I was literally crying through contractions and it was doubly awful as I wasn't even sure if this was going to turn into a baby or not. The midwife couldn't break my water because it was too tight around baby's head and she didn't want to accidentally get her head. So I asked her if we could stop the labor (because I was sure I was going to die) and she said that she could but let's give it an hour and see what happens. She wanted me to walk around...nope, wasn't happening...hurt too bad. So we agreed on sitting backwards on the toilet and letting gravity do it's thing. The midwife, doula and I were all crammed into my very tiny half bath in my kitchen (I'm not sure what John was doing), with both of them rubbing my shoulders and pushing on my lower back during contractions. I am not sure how long we were there but we stayed until I couldn't feel my legs anymore (they had gone numb) then I got up and laid on the couch. That hurt really bad, so we switched to a squat with John sitting on the couch and me leaning against him squatting on the floor. The midwife checked me then and was able to stretch me to a 7 (very bad ouch), still 50% effaced. But my cervix was still trying to head back up north. We moved to me on a birthing ball laying on the doula and the midwife pushing on my back...the contractions picked up so much by this point I was moaning and moving around like a crazy person. The midwife didn't bring up trying to stop the labor anymore but she did mention walking again...if I could have laughed, I would have...but nothing was funny at that time. Needless to say, I just got into the tub and was going to try to relax as much as possible. We were about 5 hours into labor at this point and I wasn't having anything but the hot water.


John sat on the edge of the tub and started to push on my back during contractions and the midwife and the doula went outside to give us some time. This would have been ok but the kids started coming downstairs at this point and John was losing focus on his back pushing because he was trying to wrangle the kids upstairs and keep Jullian from drinking the pool water (honestly the video is hilarious, I had no idea what was going on around me, I just knew John was being half-assed with the back pushing) so I got frustrated and the pain multiplied and I screamed for help from the doula and midwife who came back in and I broke down that I couldn't do it anymore, it was too much, I just couldn't. They assured me I could, and I assured them I wanted to go to the hospital and have a C-section. I don't really remember the rest of the conversation but the midwife checked me again and said that she wasn't going to tell me where I was because it wasn't doing me any good...aka the same. But she did suggest a better position in the tub (hands and knees), I agreed but fired John from back pushing and leaned my head on him instead (I also started to bite him at this point and yes I left marks...poor guy). The midwife from this point on was behind me and literally pulling my cervix open. I started to bear down (very loudly) with contractions. I just gave up on the idea of waiting for my body and decided if I ripped my cervix in half oh well...anything was better than this horrendous pain. I started pushing at only 7cm dilated, 50% effaced and cervix high up. The midwife had to manually dilate me and hold me open so baby could come out. I can't begin to explain how completely awful that was and had I been at a hospital I would have definitely had a c-section. 


At some point I put my hand down there and felt what I thought was the head (first time I ever felt that) and that motivated me to push harder. After one really ferocious push, I felt my water bag break and I announced “my water broke!” between screaming. The midwife said the head had about an inch to go so she stopped holding me open and started prepping for baby, telling me the baby “was definitely coming now”. I can remember hubby whispering in my ear “you got this”. The next contraction the head was out, and the one after that...baby. But no one was watching so she was kind of swimming there for a while until the midwife saw baby feet in the water and was shocked (“IT'S A BABY!”) and scooped her up right away. It was only a couple of seconds, but I think the shock of the whole situation was a lot for baby because right after she was born, she wasn't breathing...and she didn't breathe for a whole 5 minutes. Which is an insanely long time waiting for a newborn to breathe. John, I, the midwife, and doula were vigorously trying to get this baby to breathe. After a certain point I was sure this was going to end badly as I heard the midwife say she was calling 911. I started frantically screaming out to all my spirit family begging them to help us (as I knew they were there)...within seconds I was in tremendous pain again and I started to say “I'm in pain, A LOT OF PAIN!”. But everyone was focused on baby and I had the baby and couldn't hold her anymore because of the pain, so I gave her to John and started to moan very loudly. No one could figure out why and let me be because baby wasn't breathing yet. The next thing I hear in my head is “push”, so I did and the placenta came flying out. That's when my baby girl took her first breath. I knew instantly when the placenta came out that she was ok...I just KNEW. She had oxygen on her at this point and John was still holding her in the water next to me. I felt A LOT better and she looked like she did to. Then I got to hold her again without the oxygen and we got to finally bond. I also got to cut her cord (a first for my own kids).


The midwife told us afterward that she tried calling 911 twice and her phone or the connection went funny and kept hanging up on her. I know that was our “helpers” insisting that we didn't need outside help as that would have only separated baby girl and I for who only knows how long while doctors put her in observation in the NICU with formula and no mommy. That was the last thing we needed. And so it was prevented. She is my first exclusively breastfed baby and we are enjoying it immensely. It was so needed after a birth like the one we experienced together. I shutter to think how bad my postpartum could have been had things ended up in a hospital setting. But no postpartum for this mommy, everything has been really great. We are at 13 days since the birth and I am already in my pre-pregnancy clothes, baby girl is a nurse-a-holic, and daddy and brothers are so helpful to me and baby that we have had an easy ride since the birth. Plenty of sleep (for having a newborn in the house), to eat, and to drink, and the house (thanks to hubby) stays in functional cleanliness. I couldn't ask for a better postpartum time!


Eve Aria Smedstad was born at 11:09 am January 15th 2012 (Sunday) after 6 hours of very weird and excruciating labor. She weighed 7 pounds even and was 21 inches long, with a 14 inch head (ouch). With the whole labor and delivery being what it was and how big her head was vs how fast she came out (they called her the “torpedo baby”), I had no tearing or swelling...nothing. Amazing!


 

After her first few breaths

Harvest Day Today! (Organic Gardening)

It's harvest day! 

Over 2 months ago, I planted organic lettuce, spinach, chives, and cilantro and I did the whole thing organically (which was an expensive challenge).  We had quite a fight with powdery mildew to which I learned about Neem Oil, but too late for the spinach, they didn't make it.  I also learned about a water milk solution and water baking soda solution, but neither did anything like the Neem Oil.  The lettuce was not at the fullest it could be and some was lost to the mildew infestation, but some was saved too (though growth somewhat stunted.)  Chives came out ok, but I learned the hard way, not to plant too much in one spot and that did stunt their growth a little...oops.  The cilantro however, flourished!  So tonight is harvest salad with a little lettuce, chives, and a lot of cilantro.  Now I know what to do (and what not to do) for next time! :D

This was a rewarding experiment for my family and I and has really taught us the value we place on food and it's proper handling and care.  It is a labor of love indeed, tending and taking care of plants.  They need the same things we do in order to survive and thrive.  I found myself out there a few times a week just giving them energy (that is what saved some of my lettuce) as well as fussing over every little leaf and pulling out seeds and tree debris from their pots.  

I hope I learned enough to go for my second batch of veggies here soon!  Time will tell.  But in the meantime, there will be amazing raw and healthy salad for this family tonight!

I hope to extend my gardening and planting to full self-sustainability, that is the goal!  No more grocery stores, spending outrageous amounts of money on organic food, or the cost of gas to our local organic food store (about an hour away from our house).  I am pretty sure I have a ways to go and quite a bit more to learn until that goal is reached, but I am ok with it.  Time is time and it's always worth a positive investment in. 

I also found a great video of this guy who has been living off of wild food for 12 years and is as healthy as can be!  Makes me think of other options beside my own gardening in case I continue to have iffy harvests.  Here is the video...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=IzxRDsBtXrM

Full Moon with Lunar Eclipse this Sat, CHANGE IS HERE, are you ready?

It's been a mix of really good and really brutal last couple of days here in the Brightlynn house.  Lots of changes coming in, some good, some sad...but it is what it is.  With the shift energy that started to come in on the 28th of October and then 11/11/11 (you can see my channeled message about this shift here), it's a wonder when I look around at my life and see that hardly anything is as it was before those dates AND we are still in Mercury Retrograde for the next week!  AHHHHHHH! 

This is where our own spirituality comes into play.  We celebrate the full moon every month by bringing it into our lives with magic and manifestation.  Depending on the theme of the full moon for the month (you can do an astrology search for the different months and their full moon meanings), we channel our energy as a family to bring in our wants and needs (usually the same things) to have a flourishing and abundant month.

We do this by all sitting down at our table that we've decorated with our sacred treasures and begin by writing out our "intention-based petitions" for the month.  These are little scraps of paper with our desires written on them in a certain format and burned later during one of our high vibration spiritual songs.  An example of one of our more common petitions is...


"Our family is healthy, happy, whole, and harmonious very gently right now."

We write our petitions in the present tense (as if they already happened or are happening) and include a "gently or very gently" in order to ensure a smoother transition, followed by our trigger words, "right now" to ensure instant manifestation.   And the most important thing...everything is written in the POSITIVE.  I have learned (the hard way) when asking the Universe for anything, not to include any negative verbiage in my petition writing or I will have to walk through that before I get my desired outcome.  For example, once I asked to be pain-free and healthy...well, pain is a "negative" word and what happened to me was a whole lot of pain followed by many trips to the hospital and naturopath to find a way to alleviate it.  It eventually worked, but I had to walk through the pain part first.  So now, if I was still having a pain issue, I would write it out as...


"I am perfectly healthy, gently balanced, and aligned to my highest possible vibration very gently right now."

All positive, no negatives, and goes above and beyond any issues I could be currently having.

When we have (as a family) all of our petitions written and ready for burning, we charge them with the full moon and our own energy and send them lots of love vibes.  Love always speeds things along and provides a nice cushion to the energy.  It is a very simple thing we do but it is so effective and bonding to the family. 

This particular full moon is a doozy as it culminates with all the shift energy, mercury retrograde, a lunar eclipse (click here for more info), and is the last month of the year before "the big year" of 2012.  All this means is GET READY FOR CHANGE and RAPID CHANGE.  If you have any baggage or old junk from your past (even immediate past) that you need to shed.  NOW IS THE TIME TO SHED IT.  You don't want to bring that in with you into the new year...especially 2012.  The energy of that year is intense to say the least and shedding any unresolved stuff then will be much more intense...and who wants that?  This is also the perfect time to get clear on what you want for next year, and "intending it".  I wrote out a list of all that I want to accomplish for next year and I plan on sending that up to the Universe for manifestation once I've shed my old stuff away (and the old stuff can be internal or external). 

One really good thing to do (and is highly recommended) before or during your ceremony, is to have an offering to the Universe.  Usually, I will channel a Universal petition that I get from whoever is joining us at our ceremony and add that to the family petition pile (written in the same format) AND we will also donate to charity (even if it's small, like freecycle give-aways, food bank donations, or good will clothing drop offs).  This brings in a sense of giving and receiving energy and a thankfulness to what one already haves.  That energy will only speed and ease everything along nicely.

Don't worry about this chaotic and uprooting energy (it's coming to an end soon), the last half of Dec has a much calmer flow especially for those that have done the work of letting go of the old and making way for the new.  Which is exactly the kind of energy we need to usher in one of the most epic years of our existence. 

Many happy, abundant, and easy transitioning energy to you and yours this full moon and Holiday Season.

Love,

The Brightlynn Household

"Are you ready to go home to 5D Earth..."

This has been a crazy and tiring Mercury Retrograde so far (started Nov 23/24 ends Dec 13/14...depending on where you are in the world).  I have been VERY tired and lethargic and so writing and doing my normal everyday "working towards the goal" stuff has been challenging to say the least.  I have however enjoyed watching and reading online posts and videos about the upcoming shift and I found one in particular that was VERY insightful.  I thought I would share it on here since I resonate with it so well.  It explains a lot of the reasoning why I do what I do (and I am not alone).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnuOM1Jy6qQ&feature=related

Thank you in5d for posting this video!  To find out more about the shift and "in5d" go to http://www.in5d.com/ UPDATED DAILY! The Internet's largest Esoteric, Spiritual and Metaphysical Database!

Stories of my last 4 births

Since I am about to have my fifth baby in 59 days (who's counting :), I decided to post my birth stories from my previous births.  They are detailed and leave nothing to the imagination, so you are forewarned.


First son Jonathan... (2003)
I was in the Navy and single at the time.  I had a lovely friend and doula who was there to support me since my family and friends were so far away and I was relatively new to the area.  I remember feeling like I was the "girl who cried labor" because I swear I was in labor with him on and off for weeks before the real deal kicked in.  I was also dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced for weeks so I was sure when I felt anything, "this was it!"  It was not.   Ugh.  For probably around 2 weeks, I went to the hospital about 3 times and was sent home.  After all that I figured I was never going to have him and came to terms that he would forever live in my stomach and that would be ok...lol.  About 6 days before my due date, I decided that I was going to go to the store and do a big food run (which I had been avoiding due to the sheer enormity of it and the snow (this was Rhode Island) and two flights of stairs to my apt), I figured he was never coming out so what could it hurt.  It was also the night of the full moon and no one told me babies liked moons. :D  Anyways, I remember being at the store and feeling a little tired and weak and I had a HUGE cart full of stuff.  This 80 year old tiny feeble lady took one look at me and ask me if she could help me to the check stand and out to my car!  And she did!  That's when I thought, "sheesh, how bad do I look"?  lol..   Well I made it home and it took about 3 hours and 100 or so trips up and down the stairs and to my car but thankfully it was cold out so I took a lot of long breaks inside the house and the cold kept the groceries good.  It then took about another hour or so to put everything away and by then I somehow acquired a second wind and was ravishingly hungry.  I had just purchased a 16 pack box of corn dogs and started to heat up two and take them to the couch and eat them while watching a movie.  This went on and on until I went back to the freezer for more corn dogs and found the box empty!  I was shocked to say the least as I hadn't realized how much I was eating.  It was late by then and I had to work the next day, so I decided to call it a night and head to bed.  About 3-4 hours into sleep I was seriously regretting those darn corn dogs and tried to talk my stomach into some kind of truce but to no avail.  I got up to try to use the bathroom and nothing happened, though it felt like I really needed to go.  Then I noticed some blood and mucous and thought that was odd and maybe I should call someone.  But instead I waddled on out to the couch to watch more tv and try to get comfy as my couch was a lot better for my body than my bed at that time.  That's when I noticed the pain was coming in waves about every 5 or so minutes but it really did feel like I had to poop :D  I hmmmed and hawwwed about it for awhile since it was so early in the morning and still dark out and I didn't want to call my poor friend AGAIN and still not have a baby.  Then I decided I would drive myself to the hospital and leave a message on her cell that I was heading there because I figured she wouldn't answer...wrong.  She did and INSISTED I stay put while she drove the 40 minutes to my apt in a blizzard to go to the hospital.  I was feeling very sheepish and embarrassed thinking that I dragged this poor lady out of bed in the wee hours of the morning for nothing.  Well she got there and we got my stuff and loaded it in the car all the while I'm thinking this poor woman is going to disown me :D  I was fine in the car on the way there and talking and laughing with her and then we started circling the hospital trying to find out where to go because everywhere was still closed (it's a small island hospital) and we both laughed together that we could always find a nice stable that would be opened if the need came.  But we found the entrance to the ER and alas! It was open!  And we gathered up all my stuff and waddled in.  I was perfectly fine until the elevator, and then something changed. By the time we got out of the elevator and took a seriously long walk to the L&D desk, I was bent over in horrible pain!  The nurse asked me how I was feeling and I never answered, I just glared at her with a look that got her off her butt quickly and helped us to an examining room to wait for the doc (who was home asleep)...needless to say, I never managed to get out of that room and into a proper delivery room.  The corn dogs proved to be a bad pre-labor food choice as I started to vomit truck loads once I entered the room.  I had two nurses holding me while I puked (and peed) and puked (and peed) over and over.  They looked scared but I managed to get out that I ate 16 corn dogs earlier that day and all they said was ""Ooooooooooooooo". LOL  They then put me in the tub and it was ok at first but then got to be wayyyy too hot for me to stand, so I got out and the doc was there and he checked me and said I was 5 cm and I about died.  I thought for sure this baby was coming immediately...nope.  So I demanded an epidural and the guy came pretty quick.  It worked great for all of 2 hours and then the doc came and broke my water and the epidural was completely useless.  But they wouldn't let me move around anymore because I had had the epi and they were worried my legs would give out.  Let me just say, being stuck with your butt in a bed and unable to move is the absolute WORST way to have a baby! (in my opinion).  I screamed and passed out, then screamed and passed out.  This went on for a bit and one of the nurses recommended narcotic drugs while they were waiting on the epidural guy to come back and fix it.  Sure why not, I thought....bad choice.  Turns out I am allergic to most narcotics.  Thankfully they didn't give me much and it worked it's way out my system pretty quick but now I am on oxygen and monitors and all sorts of hoopla and the epi doc comes in and asks me how long have I had scoliosis?  Ummm...forever.  He said that normally they can still do an epi with people with scoliosis and it works great, but in my case, I had the curve in the exact wrong place for a proper epi and when my water bag was broke it did something weird to the nerves in my back with pressure or something.  So now it's hitting me that there is no relief in site and I am wracked in pain.  I am screaming to the point I am loosing my voice and the docs and nurses feel so bad for me they check me one more time to see if it's time to push then maybe I can get some relief.  I was 9.5 cm but the doc was convinced I could still push and he would just hold the extra lip back since first time moms tend to push slowly and this was a big baby.   WRONG.  In one push, he was at the top of my cervix to crowning and ripped the entire length of my inner wall (thankfully I didn't feel that right then)...then a couple more screaming fighting pushes and a longer tear later and he was out!  I was so traumatized by the long (for me) and excruciating labor that I couldn't even bond with him right away, I was in a totally different place.  But eventually (after a long stitch up period), they brought him to me and of course it was love at first site.  I did very quickly after (before I even left the hospital) develop baby blues that turned into PPD (postpartum depression).  I am thinking the fact I was on my own and single plus what I had went through and that I couldn't walk or sit down for quite sometime had a lot to do with that.  That was the only baby I had that with and it lasted 11 long months.  Awful!  I so feel for moms with PPD, it's a horrific and scary thing to go through!  Jonathan weighed 9 lbs even and was 20.5 inches long, he was born after only 5 hours of labor and 10 minutes pushing.

Second son, Aidan... (2005)
By this time, I was married to my husband (and still am :D) and he knew of the awful birth and what came after with our first son and we had the same hospital (still in Rhode Island) with some of the same staff but different docs this time, same anesthesiologist... and felt like we were prepared for any outcome.  My due date came and went and then kept going.  I was on bed rest for most of this pregnancy because of my back and gestational diabetes (I gained 80 pounds!) I would try to walk around and the baby would cut a nerve off to my leg and I would go down to the floor and sometimes on the freezing black ice outside.  But thankfully baby was fine and comfy in there, momma on the other hand, was not at all comfortable. I begged my mean doc to induce me, he wouldn't until the baby was showing signs of needing to come out.  Seriously???  I NEED HIM TO COME OUT! LOL.  We walked, we stripped membranes, had sex, Castro oil, etc etc...nothing.  My work was getting more and more scared seeing me everyday that was passed my due date (I was still in the Navy and was working with all men at the time), which turned into almost two weeks.  Again I was the "girl who cried labor" because I was hoping against all odds that every little cramp or twinge was it and that I'd get there and either be in labor or they'd feel so bad for me, they would just induce...nope.  I had an awful mean doc with the bedside manner of a wet noodle and he wouldn't budge.  Ah well.  So again I go into the whole, I'll just be pregnant forever thing and left it at that.  Hubby and I went to see the mean doc (now well over 41 weeks) on a Monday and he checked me and low and behold...Progress!  I think I was at a 3 and somewhat effaced and so he stripped me and there was blood on his hands (all good signs), he had also set a day for my induction (that wed), so if no baby until then, he was coming out one way or the other...this he stated to my belly and less to me. :D  I felt relieved to know that I wasn't going to be pregnant forever and there was an end in sight.  I went back to work because my hubby and I worked in the same building and carpooled and he had to go back to work and work was a lot closer to the hospital if anything happened.  I went to my office and was chatting on messenger with my friends letting them know what was going on.  I didn't really have to work so I spent some good time with them sharing birth stories and having a good ol time.  I was so into it that it took me awhile to notice I was breathing funny and that every so often I would grimace and rock in my chair.  So I told my friends on messenger and we all started to time the pains.  They were about 5 min apart when the Admiral stuck his head in my office to ask how I was doing but I was in the middle of a contraction and I guess I had a pained expression on my face because he ran out of there so fast yelling "call an ambulance!"...hee hee...men.  Well the next thing you know the whole office is in an uproar and they are trying to call my husband but of course he is nowhere to be found.  They have a reserve Admiral come in (she was a nurse in the real world) and sit with me, but this was an Admiral and I was a petty officer and it's really had to be cordial to her while having contractions especially when I wanted to walk around and she wouldn't let me get off my seat.  UGH.  As the ambulance people came in my office, so did my husband (thank god) and they got me on the stretcher and out the door followed by applause from the rest of the building.  I guess everyone had been waiting for the big day! :D  But I was in denial and thinking how embarrassing would this be to be taken by ambulance to the hospital and still be at work the next day.  But when I was in the ambulance the EMT was checking my vitals and noticed that my blood pressure was elevated so he asked me if I was in much pain and I said not particularly.  He then felt my belly and got the same look on his face as the Admiral and screamed for the other EMT to give him the emergency birth kit...I was like, "why?"  No answer.  Well we got to the hospital right before an epic blizzard for Rhode Island and hubby found us in the elevator heading up to L&D that was when I felt something cold and wet in my pants and I told them (what is it with the elevators at this hospital?) They got me to triage and the nurse checked me (there was a lot of blood and mucous) and then she got the same look on her face as the EMT and mumbled something to another nurse about not feeling a cervix at all.  They then called the new nice doc and he came in and smiled at me and said "oh you are about a 7-8" and then ran out the room screaming...WE NEED A ROOM NOW!  By the time I got to the room (which was quick) the epi doc was already there and prepared to stay with me for the duration because he remembered what happened last time and was bound and determined to get this done right.  (I found out later that I was complete when I came in but if the doc had noted that, I wouldn't have been able to get an epi, so he lied :D)  This epi was better than the first, but when my water broke it did go away again, so the epi doc redid it and I had one side pain free and the other not so much, but it was A LOT better than the first labor and I could deal with it. The mean doc came in to check on me (he was also the head doc) and by this time I was moaning very loudly with contractions.  I could push but I was afraid of the long tear that I asked to allow the baby's head to descend on it's own until it crowned and the nice doc agreed.  This also made it way more painful, so the loud moaning got more intense and the mean doc actually had the nerve to tell me "could you tone it down a little, that's a bit much, don't you think?"  I fired him right there on the spot, even though he was an 0-6 and I was an E-4..."get the hell out!"  He did and the nice doc smiled and rolled his eyes and said some docs just should stay with admin and not with people. :D  Nice doc checked me and I was crowning so he said I could push now.  I got my legs up and coughed a little and his head came out :D  Then a quick grunt and there was my whole 9lb 3 ounce baby boy with only the tiniest of tears that needed no stitches! Aidan was 22 inches long and his labor was just over 3 hours.  I had a couple weeks of baby blues on and off but was fine after that because of DH (darling husband) who was (and still is) so supportive!

Third son, Joshua (2007)...
At this time, DH, I, and the boys were in Hawaii and were not impressed with the docs at the military hospital so we opted to go into the midwife program as I knew I couldn't do narcotics and I was pretty darn sure we would have epidural issues.  I thought at the very least I could try to go natural and then maybe I'd have a say in positions and walking and that would be all the help I needed.  We held onto this theory and proceeded to explore the natural side of labor.  This baby didn't want to wait.  I had to go into the hospital a lot to stop contractions so that he wouldn't be a preemie.  Then shortly after 37 weeks (I was already 4cm dilated) I started having contractions again, but I'd been having them for so long, I didn't think anything of them.  They weren't too bad and I shrugged them off as BH (braxton hicks). It was a full moon that night and my hubby was stationed on a ship and low and behold he got recalled to go back.  I had a feeling that that was a bad idea and started to worry.  DH tired to talk his chain of command out of making him go back but they wouldn't budge because I wasn't in active labor at the hospital.  So being the sweet guy that he is, he got the boys to bed and me comfy on the couch for a nap and promised he'd be home asap.  I slept on and off for about 2 hours and then noticed I was just too uncomfortable to deal with it anymore.  So I went to get up and the pain knocked me to the ground and I started moaning loudly which turned into crying and whaling and the boys woke up and came down stairs and Jonathan (age 4) was rubbing my head and Aidan (age 2) was rubbing my butt :D and they were telling me "it's alright momma the baby is coming, that's all" :D  It was so sweet but I didn't want them to see me in pain so I tried to get them to go back upstairs but they weren't having any of that.  So I had my oldest open the doors so that maybe a neighbor would hear and come over to help.  Then my oldest got me the phone and told me to call DH...I somehow managed and was crying into the phone not even able to make coherent words.  DH just kept saying "I'm on my way baby! HOLD ON!" And seriously he was home in 10 minutes and it was a 30 minute drive!  He got home and I felt so much relief that it eased the pain a little so I thought, maybe it's not that bad after all.  And of course hubby is all "LET'S GO!", but me not wanting to be the woman who cried labor insisted that I needed a very hot bath first and if it still hurt then we would go.  He agreed (sort of) and helped me up to the bathroom and just as I was putting a leg into the hot water, my water broke!  Oh crap!  Both births before I had had a baby less than an hour after my water was broken by the doc (never broke on it's own) and I knew it was about 40 minutes to the hospital and the pain would be ten times worse now.  It was.  I screamed for DH and he came up and I told him my water broke and he got all pale and scared and went into some robot mode where he grabbed boys and stuff and was heading out to the car.  He forgot one thing, me. :D  I realized he wasn't coming back for me and somehow managed to get down the stairs and grab my pillows on the way out the door wearing nothing but a night shirt and a towel between my legs.  My neighbors (whom I'd had hoped would be able to help me) were lined up in the front of the house watching the show and not one person called an ambulance or asked to help...just watched....I screamed at them (in the middle of a horrid contraction) on my way into the car and they moved very quickly away from our house.  I guess I looked a little frightening at that point. :D  We got in the car and DH drove like a madman to the hospital.  It was night and I was looking up at the moon between screams blaming the moon for all of this, "It's YOUR fault!" :D  DH had onstar and was speaking to 911 while taking us to the hospital.  At this point I was holding in the urge to push because I could feel it strongly but I was too afraid to tell DH because he was fighting with 911 that he wasn't going to pull over, he'd make it.  And 911 was telling him that they couldn't chase him down the freeway. :D  Anyways, we got there and had the kids with us so DH pulled us up to the main entrance and there were some maintenance people there and I screamed "someone help us PLEASE!" and this nice man came running with a wheel chair and took me up to L & D.  On the way there (the elevator...darn elevators) I had the urge to push so strong I screamed and he started saying the Hail Mary in Spanish.  Poor guy.  We made it to L & D but there was a yuckie trail of puke and amniotic fluid from the car to there and I was covered head to toe in yuck.  Thankfully MY midwife was there and she got me into a room right away and I stripped off everything and climbed into bed with my knees in the bed and leaning on the head part of the bed (which was elevated).  This was (and still is) the most intense labor of my life.  I was begging for an epidural, I didn't even care if it would work or not.  The midwife checked me and said I was a 7 and I said "EPIDURAL NOW"...  I wasn't able to have a conversation and I was delirious in pain. I had no idea who was in the room and who wasn't.  At one point my DH came over to me and I bit him hard, he didn't come within a mouth's distance to me after that.  I also ripped out my IV and threw the BP cuff across the room.  I might have even hit a nurse.  It's all kind of a daze.  I was like a wild animal! The midwife said I had to have the IV if I wanted an epi so I let them put it in again and ended up ripping it almost out so that it was filling my arm with liquid and I had this nice blob of fluid in my arm.  I knew they would fuss over it so I hid it from them and everyone was ok with staying away from my flailing limbs. :D  Again this is all a blur but at some point I remember asking God to just let me die.  That's how bad it hurt.  And I was getting really weak and scared.  I think it was divine intervention because I started to get into a breathing rhythm and I stopped screaming I was also rocking and really going with my body.  I heard in my head (just bear down a little) and I did and it cut the pain in half.  It felt so good to bear down with the contractions I started to smile slightly with each one.  I really forgot there were other people in the room and it surprised me when I heard my midwife tell me "you're pushing!"  And I grunted out a "no, I'm not" and then she laughed and said let me check you.  The epi doc finally came in and I told him I didn't need him anymore (I know, weird).  Midwife checked me and said I was complete, so I started to push but couldn't get comfy anyway but standing up.  Well DH wanted to catch the baby and they would let him do it if I was standing so I got on my side and Josh came flying out so fast he hung himself on the umbilical cord.  So he ended up needing to go to the NICU.  But first they laid him on me (the first time I had a baby laid on me right after birth, skin to skin) and he peed in my face!  Nice way to say "love ya mom!"  I bled badly after that birth.  From the time my water broke until I had him was 50 minutes.  Total labor was less than 2 hours, if that.  I had to be on Pitocin after the labor and monitored for a few days to make sure the bleeding was under control.  Little man had to stay in the NICU for 4 days to make sure he could breathe on his own.  We were fine though and I was on cloud nine and so proud of myself for delivering naturally.  Josh weighed 8 lbs 11 ounces and was 21 inches long.  I had about a day of baby blues.  That was it! And my recovery was amazing!  Bleeding and all.

Fourth son, Jullian (2009)...
With all the drama of the previous births, DH and I decided that a homebirth would be the best option for this little guy, and it was!  I was studying to be a doula at the time and that really helped me make the decision to homebirth with ease. We found a midwife (an older lady) here in Hawaii.  I made a deal with the military hospital (since I was out of the Navy, they couldn't make me go to the hospital if I didn't want to) that I would see both them and the midwife just in case there were any issues and we had to go to the hospital (that way they had some kind of record).  They were hesitant to say the least about the whole "homebirth" thing and I often got a lecture about the dangers of birthing at home but I ignored it and reminded them that if I was allowed back into the midwife program we wouldn't be having this conversation.  But because my BMI was higher than they allow for the program, they denied me.  Oh well.  So at about 36 weeks, I stopped going to the military hospital and started to see the midwife exclusively.  That was also about the time that I went into my ever so famous "first labor" (the one that stops and starts and stops and ends up making me "the woman who cried labor") and all four of my doulas (I invited my class) and midwife and DH were there staring at me for hours at my house watching my labor stall out.  UGH.  I did make it to 4cm dilated but baby wasn't having it that day.  Then at a teeny bit over 37 weeks pregnant, my DH had duty (of course) on the ship during a full moon.  I was freaking out and begging the baby to stay in at that point.  Luckily, DH's chief had a heart and a feeling that I was going to go any minute and sent him home.  Sure enough, a couple hours after he got home, labor started.  We texted everyone to come over.  They did (except one doula, she missed the text).  I was in denial that this was real and telling everyone sorry and I hope I didn't waste their time.  They were all smiles and had this look like "this is definitely it" on their faces even though I didn't think so.  We already had the tub set up and filled from the "trial run" the last time and we had been keeping it warm.  I was squatting on the birth ball next to it when I felt a pop, so I went to the bathroom and noticed I was leaking fluid even after I was done peeing and the contractions got worse, so I got into the tub.  For 5-10 minutes my contractions went completely away and I just enjoyed the warm water.  Midwife started to get impatient and suggested we do some stimulations to get things going, but I said absolutely not, just let me enjoy this.  The contractions kicked in with a fierceness but nothing I couldn't manage in the water and with the hip squeezes my doulas were doing on me (best birthing technique ever!)  The pain did start to get to me because at one point I noticed that DH was falling asleep in the warm water and I threatened to "rip his (you know what's) off" if he didn't wake up.  I also got a little snappy when the midwife started telling me how to birth the baby and I looked at her and snapped "I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!"  The doulas were amused to say the least. I forgot to mention that as soon as DH came home that day, we took Castro oil as we wanted to have baby that day before he got stuck at work again.  Well the Castro oil didn't have a chance to work before labor kicked in but once I got to the bearing down stage it worked a little too well and I poo'd and poo'd in the tub so much so it sent DH screaming "POOP POOP!" and the doulas were laughing at him and scooping it out, even I snickered a little, couldn't help it.  Hey, it woke him up! :D  The pain peeked again and midwife checked me and said I was a 6.  A 6!!!  You have to be kidding me.  That's when I lost it and screamed out the next two contractions and threatened that if I had one more, we were calling the ambulance.  I then decided I didn't care if I was 6, I pushed anyways and he went from my cervix to crowning in one contraction.  I got in a doggy style position and pushed again, and he was out!  No tearing, no ripping, no nothing! He was beautiful and so calm.  I was in shock that I had just delivered a baby in my living room.  It was so cool!  The midwife was a bit of a pain and had us all freaking out for no reason because the baby had a funny rash and one undescended testicle.  So she tells me (about ten minutes after I gave birth) that I needed to "run" upstairs and get dressed and "HURRY HURRY HURRY!".. I KNEW my baby was fine, but I let her get the best of me and was in hysterics in no time.  I had one of my doulas drive me and DH drove the midwife.  The separation was all I needed to calm me down and in the car on the way to the hospital and we prayed and I felt very loved and calm.  He was fine (of course) and already nursing like a champ!  The doc was amazed at how alert he was and responsive for being only minutes old.  We went back home in no time and had some dinner and I was so happy with my little guy.  Not one day of baby blues.  Just had to keep my distance from the midwife.  Jullian was 7 lbs 10 ounces and 21 inches long.  He was born after about 2 hours of labor.

This time I have SERIOUSLY taken into consideration WHO will be at the home birth of my daughter.  I picked our doula and the midwife extra carefully, plus my best friend that I know will be good for me to be there.  I have a feeling that this birth will be a lot different than the others.  Longer and calmer.  But that is ok.  DH will deliver her this time (if he can stay awake :)  And it will be another water birth.  Can't wait!  I will let you all know!

Our last Turkey Thanksgiving was a hit!

I decided to wait until after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend to post recipes and updates on the day's events because I had a feeling things were going to shift greatly during that weekend, and I was right! 

Starting with the days leading up to the big Turkey Day extravaganza, I started making the bread for my homemade gluten free stuffing on Monday night (which I made double the amount I needed, good to note for next time) and I also put the turkey in the refrigerator that day (3 days before Thanksgiving) because I read that was as long as you needed to properly defrost a 15 pound turkey (wrong, it would have been better defrosting for 5 days, it was still frozen when I took it out to cook on Thanksgiving, so we set it in warm water until it thawed the outside, then set it in the oven for 10 minutes on 350 until it thawed the inside...problem solved).  Wednesday night we started on the deserts (a good thing and a bad thing)... I made an improvised berry cobbler pie (gluten free of course), gluten free double chocolate chip brownies (using the glutino brownie mix I bought from vitacost and just added 16 oz dairy free chocolate chips), and 2 pumpkin pies that quickly become one pumpkin pie (we ate one soon after it left the oven, we were never one for patience).  The pie crust was also a glutino pie crust mix I got from vitacost that worked pretty well but doesn't roll or lift like a regular pie crust so we just pressed the dough chunks down into the greased pie tins and it worked.

Berry cobbler pie filling

4 cups mixed frozen berries (I used organic)
2 heaping tablespoons granulated sugar
1 heaping table spoon corn starch (or potato starch)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamin
1/2 cup water
1-2 tablespoons honey
2-3 tablespoons gratefruit juice
1 packet Quaker oatmeal maple and brown sugar

Mix together and pour into prepared raw pie crust, then top with following topping

1.5 cups rice flour (or all purpose gluten free flour)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup butter or Earth Balance sicks (vegan butter)

Mix together and spoon chunks over berry filling it will look messy but that's ok...tastes terrific!
350 for 40-45 minutes.


Pumpkin pie is pretty standard, I used canned organic pumpkin and instead of condensed milk, I used Silk Egg Nog...really gave it a kick!


Thanksgiving day was busy!  I still had two more desserts to do (I know, can we have enough sugar), but because they were supposed to be hot and gooey, I waited until that day to make them.  But before I start on those...  the turkey was a masterpiece!  After I defrosted it properly, I put it in my foil roasting pan and gave it a lemon juice bath inside and out and stuffed it with fresh thyme and rosemary, a whole large chopped yellow onion, and a whole thing of garlic (peeled and each clove smashed to release juices), then I gave the turkey a butter massage and seasoned the top, legs, and wings with garlic salt, dried thyme, pepper, and paprika.  I put in the oven for 5 hours at 350 and only basted it twice every 2 hours...it was absolutely the best turkey I have ever had in my life and it was just a regular cheap turkey, nothing special.   I am happy that I got to have that turkey as my last one (I will get to the reasons behind that later). 

With the turkey in the oven, I started on my famous marshmallow sweet potato pie.  The pie crust was the glutino mix and the filling is as follows...

Mashmallow Sweet Potato Pie

2 cans organic sweet potatoes (14 or 15 ounces each)
4 eggs
1/2 stick butter (completely melted)
1 cup organic cinnamon applesauce
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon ginger
3/4 teaspoon nutmeg
(feel free to play around with spices, this is just a general guide line, I use slightly more cinnamon and ginger, it's to your preference)
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
2 tablespoons honey
1 cup Silk nog
2 unbaked 8 in raw pie crusts

Mash all ingredients together real well (except eggnog), you can use a hand beater, food processor, or just old fashioned elbow grease and a wire whisk, then add eggnog and mix well again. Make sure the filling tastes to your liking, you can add more vanilla, spice, or honey for adjustments if needed. Pour in pie crusts. Bake at 350 for about 40-50 min,  then top with marshmallows and put in for an additional 10-15 minutes (oven times vary, you want it just about done but not quite before you put the marshmallows on and leave it in the oven until marshmallows are gooey and lightly browned.)

I also made gluten free caramel rolls and though they came out pretty, the bread part wasn't what I liked, so I am still tweaking the recipe and if I find a better fix for it, I will post it.

My gravy was a masterpiece (seasoned perfectly from the turkey)!  I had four cups of gravy left over from the turkey drippings.  I used two for my organic potato buds and the other two cups for gravy which I added about 1/2 cup almond milk and 1 heaping sifted tablespoon of potato starch (I use a tea ball for my starch to sift and measure at the same time).  Then just kept stirring with a wire whisk until simmering and let it simmer slowly for a couple minutes...perfection!

The stuffing was also very good but it took a little adjustment to get used to gluten free stuffing as opposed to regular (since this was my first time eating gluten free stuffing).  And it did get better and better with time...by day 3 after Thanksgiving, it was miraculous!

Gluten free Stuffing from scratch (originally got from http://glutenfreebetty.blogspot.com/2010/11/gluten-free-stuffing.html, before my adaptions)

Start with homemade gluten free bread recipe on previous blog

9 cups of stale seasoned gluten free bread (takes 3 days to stale after baking)
1/2 butter
one chopped red onion (diced small)
3 stalks celery chopped (diced small)
1 pound ground sausage
2 teaspoons poultry seasoning
1 teaspoon garlic salt
2 teaspoons finely diced fresh thyme
2 teaspoons finely diced fresh rosemary
1/4 to 1/2 cup chicken broth

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Brown and crumble sausage over medium heat.  When fully cooked, remove sausage from pan and add butter, onion and celery.  Cook onions and celery until onion is transparent (about 10 minutes).  Mix in the remaining ingredients, including herbs and toss lightly.  Taste and adjust seasoning as needed.  Add 1/4 cup chicken broth, stir.  ("You don't want it too wet as gluten free bread is prone to sogginess and easily disintegrates.")  Place in greased 2 quart casserole dish and sprinkle a couple more Tablespoons of broth over the top (I put another 1/4 cup).  Place lid or foil over the stuffing and bake for 45 minutes.

I also made asperagus sauteed in olive oil, turkey bacon, garlic and diced red onion...PERFECT!

What wasn't so perfect was my cow dairy free hollandaise sauce, (the eggs curdled and it just wasn't hollandaise sauce), the caramel rolls and my over fried left over bread (from the stuffing)... those were the only cooking snafus I ran into.  So all in all, a VERY good Thanksgiving feast.  And the LAST one we will every have with meat. (more to follow on that below).

Thanksgiving Dinner with all the trimmings

The pretty but not so tasty gluten free caramel rolls

The "sign" of how well your Thanksgiving feast really went...a comatosed hubby with a sleepy smile :D

Now onto the big changes that have taken our family this past weekend.

I made a lot for that Thanksgiving Day, MUCH more than we could ever eat ourselves (since it was just hubby, me, and the four kiddos), but I did it so that we would have food all weekend and I didn't have to cook!  That worked out well, but by Sunday, I was Thanksgiving food-out and wanted something different.  As I was looking on our computer for recipes that worked with our remaining meatless ingredients in the house (I was so done with turkey by this point), I found a post online about a documentary called "Earthlings".  It sounded like the kind of documentary hubby and I would be into because we like to know how the world really works so that we are well-informed in our decision making.  "Sheeples", we are not.  This documentary was all about the treatment of animals for our food, clothing, entertainment, etc...  Hubby and I decided to rent it and we watched it during our meatless dinner of homemade potato fries topped with Amy's vegan chili.  Good choice as to what awaited us during the movie.

Needless to say, we didn't finish our dinner (even though it was meatless), as the movie was above and beyond anything I could have ever imagined in the way of showing us what really goes on in the world with humanity, "specie-ism", and how we treat those that we feel are "below" us... like animals.  What a wake up call that was for my husband and I!  I was dehydrated by the time the movie was over and am still a bit shaken up but I am solid in one thing and so is my hubby... There is no way we can consciously consume the life of an innocent sentient being anymore.  There is no way that we can choose to ignore the fact of what we are really eating when we go to the grocery store and choose our packaged slaughter that is much easier on the eyes in the store than how it got there.  Our bodies are not graveyards.  And though deep down I have always known and felt this (I even went vegetarian once before for about a year), there was a part of me that was choosing to ignore what my soul knew was wrong.  And I imagine this happens across the board with most people.  My hubby was the biggest carnivore around and this movie flipped a switch on in him I have never seen before.  It was like finding out you were a murderer when you were just doing what everyone else was doing, what society says is acceptable and expected of you.   Like I mention in most of my blogs, I learn everyday something about myself that I didn't know before (or had suppressed), and this was one of those things.  Our family has made the decision to no longer be a part of this "system" any longer both for the animals and our bodies.   That is our choice and we are very happy in it.

I am still debating whether or not to show the kids the movie, I am thinking the oldest will most likely be the one who needs to see it the most as he is also the one that is very invested in the "system" still.  I will have to meditate on that one.   But for now, it's lots more vegetables for us in this house, that is for sure.

Pleasant Holidays all around!

Thanksgiving in 2 days, already started cooking last night!

So part of being a single income large family is the privilege of being able to prepare meals from scratch often.  I call it a privilege because having been eating this way for so long and then making the odd and very occasional switch to more processed foods, it's just a wonder why anyone would ever want any other food but homemade.

In order for us to do this, we make 2 large purchases a year from vitacost.com when we have extra money (like after taxes or when we get my husband's military uniform allowance) and stock up on gluten free organic flours, starches pastas, and rice/quinoa, free range and organic chicken broth (bullion), Organic spices, dairy free organic milk substitutes, etc.... and make sure we have enough to get us through about six months since it is so much cheaper online and shipping to Hawaii is almost nothing. 

We made our last big purchase about a month ago so that we would be ready for the holidays.  This is why last night, hubby and I were able to make our homemade gluten free herb breads just to let them go stale so that we can make our homemade stuffing on Thanksgiving!  My own grandmother made stuffing from scratch but she never made her own bread to do it.  It feels so freeing to know that I can prepare traditional meals myself without the help of a box and it is still pretty easy.

The following are my bread recipes if you ever wanted to try (they are adaptions from other recipes I found online with my own twist...)

Gluten free garlic herb bread (I made two of this recipe for Thanksgiving stuffing)

Originally taken from (http://www.elanaspantry.com/gluten-free-bread-20/)  A great resource for gluten free! (before my adaptions)

• 1 ½ cups almond flour
• ¾ cup potato starch
• ¼ cup flaxseed meal
• ½ teaspoon garlic salt (I get the kind from Costco with the herbs already in it)
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• 4 eggs
• 1 teaspoon agave syrup 
• 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar 
• Tablespoon dried onion flakes (optional)

I seriously mix all of these together in no orthodox fashion and make sure to scrape down the sides and mix super thoroughly.  Should be a little runny and not so doughy. 

(If you don't have almond flour, you could rice flour but you well need to add about a 1/4 to a half cup of almond milk or soy milk to make it wet enough and add about 20 minutes to your cooking time.   If you don't have potato starch, you can use corn starch or arrowroot powder) 

You need small meat loaf pans or small rectangular cake pans for this recipe.  Preheat oven to 350, should be done between 30-35 minutes or until tooth pick inserted, comes out clean.

On the plus side, it's cow dairy free, gluten free, grain free and full of fiber!  If you want it vegan, you can always do the equivalent of egg substitute for the four eggs. 


Fresh herb quinoa flour vegan gluten free bread (I used one of these recipes for my Thanksgiving stuffing)

Originally taken from http://enlightenedcooking.blogspot.com/2011/10/quinoa-soda-bread-gluten-free.html, before my adaptions

Preheat oven to 350°F

Grease two mini metal loaf pans (6x3 inches)

or one small rectangular cake pan

2 cups quinoa flour

1-3/4 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp fine sea salt

1/4 tsp  baking soda

1 cup almond milk plus 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar (makes a buttermilk)

1 and a half tablespoons of (mixed and equal) finely chopped fresh thyme and rosemary (together equals 1.5 tablespoons)

Again, I am not a follow the rules chef, I just throw it all together and mix it up super well and it all comes out fine.  Remember to scrape the sides thoroughly.  Cook for about 30 minutes or until toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. 

Note: Quinoa flour has a strong pungent flavor so you don't need much in a stuffing recipe.  Both breads need about 3 days wrapped in a clean bath towel (not in any cooking containers) to be perfectly stale for stuffing.

This is one day after I made them, the one on the far right is the Quinoa bread and I have my hand in the pic to show the size of the loafs, they are not that big.

I'll include more of my Thanksgiving recipes as the week wears on, all of my recipes are usually adaptions of other recipes I find online with my own twists or allergy requirements.  I will always post the link to the original recipe.  (Unless I made it up myself, which I sometimes do).

Happy cooking!